OKTOBERFEST JA!

There are two expectations going into Oktoberfest no matter who you are. 1) Get drunk  2) Get next level drunk. Besides these two expectations I possessed little inkling of what would actually happen to me there. I hoped strongly I would not a) projectile vomit  b)be projectile vomited on. As long as I could miraculously avoid these two things I could figuratively “survive” Oktoberfest. However, what I can without a doubt say after living through Oktoberfest is this: Oktoberfest changes you. Something about drinking to the point of absolute carelessness (next level carelessness) combined with being surrounded by 500,000 like minded equally intoxicated  individuals changes you forever. My day at Oktoberfest is best summarized by saying it was the BEST WORST day ever. The story is epic. I wish Homer was alive to pen it for me frankly because it belongs alongside both Achilles and Odysseus adventures.

For another fun/brilliant portrayal of my adventure at Oktoberfest read my friend Megan’s summation here:  http://meanwhileinsalzburg.blogspot.co.at/

We awoke at the ungodly time of 5 am to more or less crawl to the train station in order to catch our 545 am direct train to Munchen (Munich). We arrived at 8ish followed the people wearing liederhosens and discovered the mini city that is Oktoberfest.  As we strolled through the streets (the last time this would happen sober) we tried to make a decision regarding a beer tent. This is not a decision to take lightly.  It’s nearly impossible to get a seat in a beer tent if you don’t get there before 11am so once you get in line to get into one you have committed to it. We chose one that had a line that possessed an already excellent male to female ratio (strongly in our favor) and proceeded to stand in line here we are:

Take notice of this picture because it is the last time that any of us will look this relatively normal? (if you can consider this “normal”) regardless the picture progression of our drunken facade is quite amusing. prepare thyself. Once we got into the beer tent it was incredible anticipation for our beers to arrive. (Side note: that table was disgustingly sticky. Luckily Megan wore her heinous gray sweatshirt so she was fine with putting her arms all over it.)

we finally got beer and proceeded to fall into a quick stupor. Oktoberfest beer comes in liters and is 19%. (Hardcore.) Mixed with the constant pressure to chug and the reckless environment we were in for one crazy ride.

Picture Progression of my Oktoberfest Beer Tent experience: (Note, all of this occurred between the times of 945 am to 12.)

(….what was i doing….)

The result of 3 liters of beer ended with me as shown above ^

Needless to say I was intoxicated. We all were intoxicated. We were dancing (to no music) we were drinking more (bad) we were making friends (weirdos) Laura was buying stupid hats (modeled by me) Once I finished my third beer I knew that I was done for. I had this sudden revelation that if I did not leave the beer tent right at that moment I was going to vomit all over the table, our new friends, my old friends, that old weird guy, and the beer. Disaster. This moment (1pm) was probably one of the most intoxicated points of my life. I made eye contact with an equally intoxicated Megan and we stumbled/crawled/armycarried each other out of the beer tent to find fresh air more drunk people and we were about to start what would be the most epic adventure of Oktoberfest.

Megan declared she needed water, french fries, a bathroom, and a nap. I am a drunk superstar and got her all these things. AMAZING. We stumbled literally the greatest stumble of my life. People were openly pointing at us. (Equally drunk people pointing at us stumbling around. You know it was bad if that’s happening) begging to find our friend Hanna to take care of us and praying for somewhere anywhere to recover. This moment which I compare to finding the holy land was when we stumbled upon drunk utopia.

All of these beautiful people are passed out. THESE ARE MY PEOPLE. After shrieking in excitement stumbling as far as I could make it at this point (5 steps) Megan and I found a beautiful utopian society to take a nap in.  We had an AWFUL encounter with these Emory douches who were disrupting the tranquility that was drunk utopia. We just want to sleep, nap, chill. Why you screaming?! Why you wrestling?! Needless to say they got theirs. (I tied their shoelaces together once they passed out. Fuckers) Also the only thing terrifying about Drunk utopia was in the hour and a half we layed there the emt’s took away at least 12 people on stretchers begging the question. How many people die here each year?! fackkkk.

It was amazing. We awoke rejuvenated. Less drunk more aware and ready to take on Oktoberfest again! We stumbled into Drunk utopia as mere paupers. Peasants. Drunk fools. Low Lifes. Rif Raf. However, we left Drunk Utopia as queens. We OWNED drunk utopia.

Notice all the passed out people in the background.

We at this point were desperate to find Hanna. Whom we had been searching for in our blind drunkness to save us. Instead we found. BRENNAN.

Big Brother Brennan! Brennan Brennan Brennan. More drunk than us. Struggling to speak he was a welcome sight on our ultimate quest to find Hanna. 

in a group of 500,000 + people it is a godsend we even ran into Brennan. What are the chances?! I mean REALLY. But wait. We found Hanna. We ran into the one the only Hanna Bauer. Completing what was the most epic adventure ever. Megan collapsed onto the disgusting barf covered pavement at her feet. I clutched her neck in a choke hold. It was beautiful. It was necessary. It was Hanna. At long long last.

(Side Note: I don’t even know who that guy is in between Hanna and I. But I kind of hate him because he is interceding Hanna Megan and I’s photo op.  Randommmm.)

Oktoberfest was amazing. Awful. But amazing. It’s something every person should experience. Being absolutely sloshed at 1030 am with 20,000 other people screaming around you is overwhelming and incredible. and I never even threw up. I declare Oktoberfest a success.

Watch out for my Budapest post. It’ll blow your mind.

 

3 days in Vienna: The chicest weekend ever.

First of all I would like to say that for anyone that is under the impression that there may be other places that possess inherent “chic” qualities they do not even begin to rival Vienna. You may say oh I had this amazing time in Paris so chic blah blah blah NO. Sorry to be the one to tell you but you are wrong. You have lived this long believing that Paris, Milan, London etc may have been the chicest cities in Europe but finally finally someone is showing you the true way. The chicest city in Europe is Vienna. But you may argue the fashion shows! Paris had COCO! I mean cmon Coco. yes yes yes I respect the chic-ness that is Coco more than anyone. However, the true Chic aspects of those cities is so overdone/overplayed creating an almost unchic aura about them. EVERYONE thinks Paris or Milan are the chicest cities. Vienna is chic because of fabulous clothes and attitude AND its highly underrated. The Viennese know they are fabulous AND don’t need the fame of being chic. They just are. Its a beautiful beautiful thing. Now that we have cleared up that discrepancy and can agree that Vienna is in fact the reigning city of chic we can move into what was a fabulous weekend in Vienna.
DAY 1
We were forced to be onboard a bus at 8am and after a late night at the pubs 8 am felt more like 4 am making me one displeased traveler. After a much needed 4 hour nap we pulled up to Schonnbrunn palace; the winter residence of the Hapsburgs. Now having been a member of the Hapsburg royalty (before the inbreeding set in naturally) this trip back to one of my royal palaces was a much exciting prospect. It was different now that it is utilized for tourism but it is no less grand as a result.

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The workers seemed to not recognize me (odd) and they were not all that pleased when I went to parts of my palace that were apparently “roped off” however, after explaining calmly to them that I thought that was just for the “commoners”(tourists) not for me (Hapsburg in a previous life) we laughed and they told me to step back with the plebians (rude). Although I was treated unkindly by the people that I was frankly ALLOWING to be in my palace I still had a lovely time strolling the gardens with Laura and revisiting my family history.

After a beautiful time at the gardens we went to a special exhibit on Gustav Klimt at a museum that I don’t remember the name of. However! I had been awaiting this moment for some time. When I would finally get to see the Kiss by Gustav Klimt in real life to find a dashing stranger (sexy male) standing in front of it and ogling it with the same incredible fascination that I would. We would exchange witty banter and then share a passionate kiss in front of both of our favorite paintings. As I strolled through the other paintings continuing my day dream and my anticipation building there it was THE KISS. I immediately began to hyperventilate (not attractive good thing I’m blonde) and scan the room looking for my future man (notice I didn’t say husband).  The only male opportunities were boys from my school (gross) or our tour guide (dashing but big nose). This in itself was a tragedy but I rallied drooled over my favorite painting and saved my fantasy for my next encounter with The Kiss. After the museum Laura and I set off to discover what the Venice nightlife had to offer (unimpressed). Vienna is FAR too chic for drunken shenanigans.

DAY 2

We were once again forced to wake up at an ungodly hour and were back on the bus by 8 am (baloney) and we rode off to the Viennese State Opera house where we received a delightful tour. I fell asleep in one of the plush red seats. (awesome)
Afterwards we went to the Fine Arts Museum where our tour guide was super catty and and got angry at an asian tour guide (triple awesome). I enjoyed her but I don’t really remember the art… I do however remember how hungry I was and upon our release for the whole afternoon I immediately hit up a Food Cart (delicious) and got some Pommes (french fries).  After wandering around Vienna and being fabulous I got back to our hotel with the intentions of taking a much needed nap. However, I was instead talked into attending the ballet Romeo and Julia in the Viennesse State Opera house for a mere 4 euros. IT WAS AMAZING. We stood for 4 hours (hell) but we payed 4 euros had an incredible view (romeo had GREAT assets) and had an absolutely awe worthy evening. Here’s us waiting in line for standing tickets:

 It was perfect. There is nothing else to say about it.

DAY 3

At this point I’m so sleep deprived that our 8 am wake up call is nothing to me and I stumble downstairs to enjoy another breakfast croissant. We first go to St. Stephens Cathedral it was awesome and had a trippy roof which I enjoyed. That’s Megan(more to come) LOVE her.

 After a delightful (cold) morning walking through St. Stephan’s Cathedral we went to the Secession building and saw the amazing Beethoven Frieze. Absolutely loved it and it’s a must for anyone visiting Vienna. I bought a poster there of the ultimate happiness section because it was so beautiful.  Then my friend Hanna (more to come) Sam Steele and I wandered through a Viennesse Market (awesome) and ate lunch and discussed intellectual things. I was having such an incredible time with Hanna that I left my beautiful poster there. If you found a poster by the Opera House Fountain and you are reading this you are lucky (bastard).  After this unfortunate poster losing incident we continued on to the Hundertwasser Museum(awesome) Hundertwasser(misspelled) was one crazy drugged out bastard who doesn’t believe in straight lines and wishes to be reincarnated as a tree. (love him) The museum was a wet your pants laugh fest when I had an awkward encounter with Gundi (not pg) and then we went on to his awesome? architecture.

interesting.

Nevertheless, it was finally time to go to what I can now say was the worst opera I have ever seen. It was about goldminers from Alaska (awkward coincidence) who basically are dumb fools. Actually I don’t know what happened because it was in German. I did however enjoy an amazing nap while being fantastically dressed. One of the few times when all these people were awake.

After this opera (nap) we took the bus home where I experienced a bonding session with a girl who is now my kindred spirit Megan (awesome).  So all in all solid day.

DAY 4

 Before leaving to head back to Salzburg we made a pit stop at an ancient? Monastery. Notice it is also yellow (I’m sensing a theme).

All of us. My hair was having a rough go of it.

 After another stop at a Austrian version of a truckers stop we made it back to Salzburg. I celebrated our homecoming by going to O’Malleys and drinking a guinness. Hooray!

A Blogger I will be: Shenanigans in Salzburg

I have now been living in Europe for nearly a month and this will be my first blog post. Granted this already seemingly terrible track record is no indication of the future excellence of my blogging.  I have been inspired by an INCREDIBLE weekend at Oktoberfest (more to come later) and this has made me finally get down and dirty (awkward) and focus.

I have decided to open my first blog post with a recap of my beautiful time in Salzburg and a picture recap of what is almost no studying and more or less all pub hopping (as it should be).

I arrived here in Salzburg at 4 pm on a Wednesday afternoon, dropped my bags in my room, ate a quick dinner and was at the Augustiner Beer Hall by 7 pm.

   

I convinced myself that through copious beer drinking one could avoid jet lag. I highly suggest this strategy to any person traveling 10 hours outside of there normal time zone. It worked perfectly for me.

 Many of the Salzburg pubs already feel like home.  Highly recommend any would be Salzburgers to look into Shamrocks and O’Malleys. If you go to O’Malleys be sure to talk to Danny(HOT).  It’s very worth your while.

The rest of my time while in Salzburg has been completely absorbed by studying because of our vicious 4 days a week class schedule that is the trade-off for 3 day weekends (worth it).   Salzburg very much agrees with me and I cherish every moment I spend wandering around the Altstadt, pushing my way through asian tourists, and running along the beautiful river that seperates north town from old town.  I have already spotted about 20 dogs that I would be willing to steal and have live on the patio of my room and LOVE the fact that Europeans strongly prefer dogs to cats (as it should be).

Life couldn’t be more wonderful.